Oh Brother(s)!
by Jellicle Belle
Summary: Alonzo knows that it can be difficult when you are the oldest sibling, especially when the younger two are twins who have a knack for getting themselves into trouble. Although Quaxo says trouble finds him and Misto much more often than they go looking for it...


**Hi guys! I just can't stay away from the Junkyard. **

**Let me know what you think!**

**T.S. Eliot and ALW own CATS. I, unfortunately, do not. If I did, Cori and Tanta have told me they would have a lot more to say.**

**All my love to you guys 3 **

Oh Brother(s)!

"There are entirely too many sets of twins in this Junkyard!" Alonzo grumbled as he looked for his brothers for the fifth time that day.

"You may have a point, but I don't really think that's a fair assessment." An amused voice came in response to his statement from behind an old board game pile.

"Tanta!" Alonzo greeted his queenfriend with a grin and a kiss on the cheek. _As one of a set of twins herself_, he thought, _maybe he should cut Tantomile some slack_.

"You got that right!" another voice piped up as its owner, a Jellicle that was a taller version of Tantomile, stepped out.

"Cori!" Alonzo exclaimed a little bit over-enthusiastically, greeting his best friend with a head bump and a big hug. "I thought I told you to stop reading my mind?" Coricopat just grinned and the two toms continued the affectionate greeting routine that they went through every time they saw each other, which consisted of lots of hugs, face-rubbing, and tail-flicking.

"Um, Lonzo…who are you dating, him or me?" Tantomile interrupted with her hands on her hips and a grin on her patterned face as she watched her brother and her tomfriend, her tortoiseshell tail swishing behind her as she maneuvered her feet into the perfect position. Before the toms knew what had happened she had them both pinned to the ground, and sat on top of them, laughing her head off.

"No, Coricopat, I will not get off." Tantomile sat back and crossed her arms as she responded to an obvious unvoiced question from her brother.

"Eh…it was worth a shot," the tortoiseshell tom shrugged as he fell back on the ground. He knew he wouldn't win this particular battle with his sister, even if she did happen to be sitting directly on his liver.

Alonzo on the other hand, sat up and wrapped his arms around his queenfriend, nuzzling her until she giggled enough that he pulled her completely into his lap and off her brother.

Tantomile suddenly stopped laughing and shot Alonzo a look. She wrapped her arms around the black and white tom's neck and pulled him close. "Now, my love…what did we overhear about too many sets of twins?" she asked in a disappointed voice.

Alonzo felt his stomach plummet and a flush crept over his black and white patched face. "Well- well, you see I was…um…I was…" Alonzo spluttered as he tried to think of an argument. His words stuttered to a halt as Tantomile sniggered and identical grins spread over the mystic twins' faces. Alonzo knew he'd been set up.

"We're just pulling your tail, Lonzo," Coricopat laughed as he stood up and reached a hand down to help his sister.

As the oldest set of twins above him laughed, Alonzo took the time to reflect on all the other twins in the Junkyard. There were quite a lot of them, after all.

He got along famously with the mystics, Coricopat and Tantomile. He was also great friends with Mungojerrie and his twin sister, Rumpleteazer. Although, Alonzo reasoned as he pulled himself off the ground, the latter set seemed to have a _slight_ kleptomania problem and too many sticky fingers between the two of them. He wasn't sure if half of what was in their den was even legal! He hummed in slight amusement. He enjoyed the notorious duo's antics, even if Munkustrap typically did not. And then there was Pouncival and Carbuckety, who, come to think of it, he hadn't seen in a while either…

A loud crash suddenly jolted him from his thoughts and he turned around in time to nearly get run over before he jumped out of the way, pulling Cori and Tanta along with him.

"Wheeeeeeee!"

"Speaking of," Alonzo stifled a laugh. Two smaller brown and white patched toms flew by the three on a makeshift sled, picking up speed before taking too sharp of a turn and flipping, pitching the kits head first into old coffee cans. They say up, dazed and confused, with the coffee cans perched on their heads like knights' helmets. Alonzo rolled his eyes with a fond smile as Coricopat and Tantomile burst out laughing and went to go pull the third set of twins out of the cans before the younger Jellicles recovered their wits enough to start another jousting tournament. _Jennyanydots would flay me alive if I let them do that again_, Alonzo thought with a shudder.

"Thank you!" the two tom kits yelled as they scampered off. Alonzo covered his eyes as they immediately crashed into their older brother, Plato, who had the misfortune to be walking by at that exact moment. Alonzo stuffed a hand in his mouth to stop himself from laughing at the very fluffy pile in front of him, with Plato at the very bottom. Pouncival and Carbuckety bounced up and ran off again. Still chuckling, Alonzo offered Plato a hand, which was gratefully accepted. The two had always been close, seeing how their lot in life seemed to be the same.

"Thanks, Alonzo," Plato said as another crash was heard around the Junkyard. The two turned in time to see Pouncival, Carbuckety, and their best friend, Tumblebrutus come tearing around the corner with a very angry Admetus right on their tails. "PLATO! Come control your brothers!" Admetus yelled as he ran past.

"I'd better go take care of that." Plato shook his head. "I don't know how they get in trouble so quickly. Where are your brothers, Lonzo? We seem to be missing a set of twins." He ran off in the direction of Admetus's voice to make sure the gray tom's temper didn't get the better of him.

Behind the quickly retreating Plato, Alonzo groaned. Right…his brothers…whom he'd been searching for…He sighed and half-heartedly commenced his search again. "Quaxo! Mistoffelees! Where are you? This isn't funny anymore!"

Alonzo kicked a rock out of his path as he looked up and down for the youngest set of twins. He sighed. Life was hard growing up in charge of two younger brothers who happened to be just as cheeky as Pounce and Carbuckety. But there was a twist. One of the tuxedo twins (Mr. Mistoffelees) happened to be a Conjurer, and the other (Quaxo) was the plotter of their schemes. He had even taken to calling himself the "Conjurer of Ideas." Alonzo did not see eye to eye with him in this instance, as most of Quaxo's ideas were incredibly bad ones that got them (sometimes Alonzo included) into huge amounts of trouble.

"Quaxo! Misto! Come on, guys!"

"They can't have gone far, Alonzo," Tantomile said, walking up behind him and putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I know I saw them a couple hours ago," Coricopat added.

"I just don't know where to look," Alonzo fretted. "They're not in their usual hiding spots, Jenny said they didn't go to her den for lunch, they- "

"Alonzo!" a frantic voice interrupted him. Demeter dashed into the clearing and almost ran straight into Alonzo and the Mystics. She was completely out of breath, and hunched over wheezing.

"What's up, Dem?"

"Misto and Quaxo," she huffed out, motioning vaguely behind her.

Alonzo ran as fast as he could, Coricopat and Tantomile right behind him. From the way that Demeter had been running, he could tell this was either going to end up with a heroic rescue or a very bad day indeed for the tuxedo twins. As he got to the clearing, he looked around. His best friend, Munkustrap, was halfway up one of the tallest junk piles, trying to catch…Wait…What was Munk trying to catch?

Shifting his gaze higher, to his horror, Alonzo spotted his brothers who were swinging off an ancient, heavy pipe on pieces of industrial wiring they had found. The two seemed to be fine, having the time of their lives as they swung round and round each other, slowly getting tied up in a huge knot.

"Oh, Everlasting Cat, you've got to be kidding me," Alonzo groaned before heading up another junk pile in an effort to intercept the youngest set of twins before they hurt themselves.

_0o0o0o0o_

The next day, Quaxo and Mistoffelees had gone missing again and Alonzo was running out of patience. He was so frustrated, in fact, that he had enlisted Coricopat and even Mungojerrie to help him look for his wayward brothers.

The three toms searched, weaving in and out of the junk piles while Rumpleteazer and Tantomile had agreed to stay in the clearing in case the tuxedo twins found their way back.

"Quaxo!"

"Misto!"

"Where'd ya go?"

Coricopat, Alonzo, and Mungojerrie met in a smaller clearing two hours later, having had no luck locating the missing kits. Alonzo plopped on the ground looking particularly put-upon and buried his face in his hands. Coricopat sat next to him, after agreeing with Mungojerrie that the latter would go look one more time near a group of old armchairs just to make sure they hadn't missed anything.

Jerrie was soon back, and threw himself to the ground. "Still no luck," he muttered as he started poking at a small top hat that was next to him. All he could get from Alonzo was a long, "Ughhhhhhhhhhh!"

"Just let them be, Lonzo," Coricopat advised. "They'll grow up to be just fine."

"Hmph," Alonzo huffed. "Says the cat who reads my mind uninvited and happens to be the most level-headed tom in the Junkyard!" Coricopat whacked him upside the head.

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

Alonzo and Coricopat jumped up and looked in surprise at Mungojerrie who was the cause of the scream. The younger tom had shot to the other side of the clearing and was cowering behind a worn green armchair. "What the hell was that all about?" Alonzo cried. "Were you trying to give me a heart attack?!"

"Tha' ha' bit me!"

Alonzo stopped. "Did I hear him right?" he asked turning to Coricopat.

"You heard him right," Cori said, perplexed. "What hat, Jerrie?"

"Tha' one!" The calico was pointing and staring daggers at the hat he had been playing with earlier that was now sitting, quite innocently for a hat, on the ground.

Alonzo walked over and looked. "It just looks like a regular top hat, Jerrie, I don't think it bit you."

"I'm tellin' ya it bi' me!"

"Hats don't have teeth, Jerrie!" Alonzo snapped. Coricopat, ever the mediator, got on the ground to have a closer look. His brown, white, and reddish tail flicked behind him as he inspected the hat. To the other toms' surprise, the mystic started laughing. Jerrie crept forward.

"Um…Alonzo? You should look at this hat," Cori said as he got off the ground, grinning.

The black and white Protector looked around. "What?"

"Just look at the hat."

Alonzo circled the hat, seeing nothing out of the ordinary. He looked at Cori who motioned him to look again. Alonzo glanced at the top hat. Still nothing.

"What are you playing at, Cori?"

"Alonzo, hats don't usually twinkle," the mystic said with a chuckle.

Alonzo looked again, closer this time. Sure enough, the hat had little twinkling sparkles all over it. Just like the ones that appeared all over a certain Conjuring Cat…

"What?" Alonzo whispered. He had thought Mistoffelees was smart enough to not turn himself into a hat…wait…He was definitely smart enough not to turn _himself_ into a hat…"Oh you've got to be kidding me!" Alonzo exclaimed, eyes widening in realization.

"Look, Alonzo!" A familiar little voice chirped. "I'm the Cat That's the Hat!"

Exasperated, and strangely feeling like he was going to cry, Alonzo put his head in his hands. Mungojerrie and Coricopat lost it. Both of them doubled over with laughter at the little top hat that they could now see was Quaxo. Peeking at the small white-tipped tail that adorned the hat, Alonzo wondered how he hadn't realized it sooner. To all of their surprise the hat quivered before giving out a shout of a laugh and hopping a few feet from them.

"Quaxo, could you please tell me how this happened?" Alonzo demanded, snatching the hat off the ground as it tried to make a getaway.

"It's not my fault, Lonzo!" The hat squeaked and wriggled, trying to escape. "We were bored and I told Misto he should put on a magic show! He said because it was my idea, I had to help. I remembered that story you'd told us, The Cat That's the Hat, and told Misto, and he turned me into a hat!"

Alonzo let out a breath and shook his head, trying to keep his temper. "It's The Cat IN the Hat, Quaxo. And now you ARE a hat and Misto is nowhere to be had!"

"I can stay this way for the rest of my life!" Quaxo sang.

"Absolutely not!"

"Wow! Teazer an' I never go' into this much trouble!" Mungojerrie chortled as Coricopat wiped his eyes and burst out laughing again.

"Lonzo!" Rumpleteazer's voice suddenly cut through the Junkyard. She sounded extremely on edge. Knowing that meant that she and Tanta had probably found Misto, Alonzo made up his mind.

"Okay, Quaxo," Alonzo said, picking up the sparkly hat as the tail whipped his arm angrily. "We are going back to the car, finding Misto, and you are becoming a cat again!"

"But Alonzo!" the squeaky little voice whined. "I like being a hat!"

"Oh, my Everlasting Cat!" Alonzo growled. Coricopat had to grab Quaxo to save him from being squashed as they made their way to the main clearing.

_0o0o0o0o_

"Not fair, Misto! Give it back!"

"Make me!"

"Just you wait til I tell Lonzo!"

"No, I'm gonna tell Lonzo first! This is all your fault, Quaxo!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

Alonzo, who had been woken up from a lovely nap on top of the dryer, rolled his eyes and looked around the clearing for his brothers. He spotted them right in front of the car, caught in a tug of war over their favorite toy mouse.

He walked over and stopped in front of them arms crossed, waiting to be noticed. "Hi Lonzo!" Quaxo chirped.

"What's going on here?" Alonzo asked, as Coricopat came up beside him.

"Nothing!" the twins chorused as they continued to tug on the mouse.

"Really?!" Alonzo asked disbelievingly. He ignored the familiar grin starting to creep its way across Cori's face. "Nothing…are you sure!"

"Yup!" Misto said. With a huge tug, he upset him and his brother, sending them tumbling over each other. Alonzo shook his head and walked off, leaving the tuxedo twins to untangle themselves.

_0o0o0o0o_

"So, they've kind of made friends again?" Tantomile said with a grin. She leaned against Alonzo as he told her about the other twin troubles he'd been having to deal with that week that she'd had the great fortune to miss. He turned his face away from the sunset they were watching to meet Tanta's eyes.

"Once I took away the mouse and made them follow Munkustrap for five hours while he went on patrol, yes. Although I not sure if Munk'll ever forgive me," chuckled Alonzo.

Tantomile laughed. "Admit it though, Alonzo. You wouldn't know what to do without them."

The black and white Protector shrugged. "I guess you're right." He nuzzled Tanta's face, grinning slightly as she let out a soft purr. "I wouldn't know what to do without you either. My Tantomile."

He looked into her trusting face, leaning in slowly. Just before their lips met, a loud, "Ahem!" brought the two of them back to earth.

Disappointed, Alonzo closed his eyes and sighed. Opening them, he found Coricopat in front of them, a smirk on his face, and a slightly melancholy look in his eyes. Grasped in each hand was the paw of a tuxedo tom kit. "Quaxo and Misto would like to tell you something, Alonzo." He let a Cheshire Cat grin spread across his face. "If you can spare them a moment that is."

Rolling his eyes at his friend, Alonzo separated himself a bit from Tantomile and turned his attention to the kits in question. He noticed a difference in them immediately. The youngest set of twins quietly walked up to their older brother, eyes downcast and tails dragging on the ground. With a slight frown, Alonzo caught a gentle hand between each of their chins and lifted their faces up so he could look them in the eye.

Misto's lip began to tremble, and Quaxo's eyes were glossy with tears. Quaxo cleared his throat as best as he could. In a voice choked with emotion, he squeaked, "Alonzo, we wanted to say that we're sorry. We didn't mean to make you mad this week."

"Yeah, we were just tryin' to have a bit of fun, that's all," Misto interrupted, a tear tracing its way down his face and falling onto his little bow tie.

Before the magician could get all the words out, Alonzo, who felt his heart melt and knew that he couldn't stay mad at them, wrapped his brothers in a huge hug. "All is forgiven, kits. All is forgiven," he whispered as the tuxedo twins silently cried in his arms.

Coricopat and Tantomile watched the little family with silent smiles. Coricopat nuzzled his sister behind the ears. They exchanged a smile with Alonzo as the big, black and white tom gathered his little brothers on his lap and started rocking them slowly.

As the five of them settled back in to watch the rest of the sunset, they were all surprised by a sleepy little squeak from Mistoffelees. "Hey, Lonzo! You wanna see a magic trick? I can turn Quaxo into a cape!"

"Oh, brother!" Alonzo groaned. He looked over at Cori and Tanta, who were unsuccessfully hiding smiles behind their hands.

"I think you mean, 'Oh brothers!'" Tantomile beamed.

"Not helping, lovely," Alonzo said with a grin as Coricopat laughed outright, and the younger set of twins exchanged cheeky grins before falling asleep in Alonzo's arms. For once, everything was right in Alonzo's world.


End file.
